Quickly now, let’s go
Let’s get into this day real quick, since speed is an overlying theme for the day. We passed out the night prior and we passed out early, our bodies still running on a different clock and our stomachs full from four hours of slightly overindulgent eating. After a long night of sleep we awoke considerably more oriented and adjusted; I could feel the difference immediately. A day or two prior, I had been a shell of myself—an excited shell, but a shell nonetheless. Jet lag-induced exhaustion and confusion were weighing me down, and I was trying to ignore the twinges of anxiety that were cropping up. These thoughts have become a pattern I know all too well, always presenting like this: What if Mitch doesn’t have fun? What if I booked a horrible Airbnb? What if we go to a restaurant I recommended and he gets sick? What if we do an excursion I picked and it’s terrible? Notice how none of these thoughts involve me, and how none of these worries are within my control (I’m working on eradicating them, okay!).
Those thoughts had been running on a loop in my head, so I was relieved when I woke up refreshed and calm, anxieties significantly abated. We had a guided half-day tour booked to explore the city for the majority of the day, and it was designed to expose us to a lot of iconic sights in a timely and efficient manner, transportation included. Our booking was called “Delhi: Old and New Delhi Guided Full or Half-Day Tour” from GetYourGuide, found here, and it included pickup and drop-off, which we arranged to have begin at 11am.
With a little bit of time to kill–not enough to venture far from the hostel, but too much to do nothing–we decided to be cute and productive, so we headed into the downstairs area to get breakfast and coffee, draw (Mitch), stretch (Mitch), and write (me). Our hostel’s downstairs bar had a full menu, including drinks, quick bites, breakfast, staple Indian dishes, and a few international cuisine options too. We each ordered stuffed paratha–a staple Indian flatbread–filled with paneer, onion, and potato. Mitch got an Americano (foreshadowing) and the next couple hours flew by with a strange sense of at-home normalcy, a bubble that would occasionally pop from our surroundings. I fell into the flow of writing and I’d feel like I was back in West Chester, typing away at a cafe, when suddenly the pop of a bug flying into their electric bug zapper would jolt me back into the present moment. Or I’d take a bite of my paratha and my senses would be overloaded with all of the new, unique, and delicious spices, and it would hit me how far away I was from my favorite bagel shop at home.
These are the best, most underrated effects of travel. You completely broaden your horizons, experience profound newness, and shake up both your perception of the world and your perception of how much you really know. I felt like I was a cocktail at that moment, because my shit was really getting shaken around.
Before I knew it, it was tour time!
The details of our speed-run tour through Old and New Delhi
I may as well race through the list of everything we saw, because it perfectly parallels the way our guide rushed us through each place. If it sounds like I’m overreacting, he literally went “I’m sorry, can we walk fast please” and then we power-walked through the grounds of Humayun’s Tomb.
Our tour really started at the Lotus Temple, the Bahá’í House of Worship. This is one of the most well-known landmarks in India, its iconic shape inspired by the Sydney Opera House in Australia. It is a symbol of peace and acceptance, a place that welcomes all people. I could feel the otherworldly sense of calm in the air, which only enhanced when we went inside the temple. It was breathtakingly beautiful, quiet and serene. It is a custom for people to remove their shoes before entering places of worship as a sign of respect, and I really enjoyed partaking in that.
Next we headed over to Humayun’s Tomb, another well-known historical landmark. This red stone tomb is the tomb of Emperor Mirza Nasir al-Din Muhammad, and it inspired several future architectural projects that all eventually led to the most iconic mausoleum of all, the Taj Mahal.
After that we toured Lodhi Gardens, ninety acres of greenery interspersed with walkable trails, more beautiful tombs, and buildings. It was the perfect place to get in some cardio, sightsee, or picnic, and we saw plenty of all the above occurring. While taking in the nature and exploring the grounds, I was approached by a sweet kid close to our age. He said, and I quote, “He-ey sister! Can I get a picture?” Our tour guide gave this man the most intense stare I have ever seen, for far too long, arms crossed and expression displaying undeniable judgment. After twenty seconds of complete silence, our guide finally said, straight to the point… “No.”
It was iconic, but I kind of felt bad. If I was alone and didn’t have a tour guide defending me, you can bet I would have had a photoshoot with that guy.
After that, we were starving. Somehow, three hours had passed, and I felt like a decent bit of it had been eaten up with time in the car, watching our driver painstakingly navigate through the chaotic traffic of Delhi. Our tour guide brought us to a restaurant–I regret to admit this, but the name of it evades me–and tried to order for us which was so funny but also took us aback. We had to redirect and assure him we could order for ourselves, but we somehow landed on a middle ground where we got the appetizers we wanted and the entrees he recommended, which was entirely too much food. The result was a full plate of chicken tikka masala for Mitch and a full vegetable tikka masala for me, alongside mushroom-stuffed dumplings and sweet and sour fried potatoes which we split.
We also briefly passed by the India Gate and Parliament Building, the former on our way to lunch and the latter after, taking them each in from a distance.
Lastly–well, we thought it was last–we stopped at Agrasen Ki Baoli, a historical stepwell in New Delhi. This not only served as an important water reservoir during periods of extreme temperatures, but it also became a frequented social space for locals and a popular tourist destination. After five hours of traffic and high-speed historical sightseeing which was sped up to balance out all the time spent in traffic, we were pretty maxed out though. Our tour guide was a sweetheart, but there was a very mutual language barrier–we struggled to process the information he was sharing with us at each location, and he misinterpreted the majority of our questions. We discovered this very early on, before we even entered the Lotus Temple, in fact. Mitch asked him what the consensus was surrounding PDA–we were curious if handholding, hugging, and kissing in public were all socially acceptable and wanted to be respectful (I must confess… We PDA to the max at home)–and in answer, our guide began explaining the disparity he has observed between older and younger generations, and the values that true men of culture bring to the table in a relationship. We were like, okay, word!
Later on in the tour, I asked him what happens if the police or first responders need to get through the traffic, to which he initially said “great question.” I fear that whatever question he found to be great was not the actual question I asked, because he opened with, “the people help.” I wanted to know how police cars navigate through traffic in such ceaselessly jam-packed roadways, but his enthusiasm in sharing how citizens help in emergencies was heartwarming.
All that to say, as sweet and accommodating as our guide was, there was only so much we could do. That language barrier was impenetrable. So as our driver started to head back towards our hostel, we assumed the tour was reaching its conclusion, and honestly, we were ready.
It wasn’t over yet though!
Our guide offered a final stop at a “one-of-a-kind marketplace,” where we “didn’t have to buy anything, but would be going for knowledge.” We politely declined, and whether this was yet another symptom of the language barrier or it was him choosing to ignore us, I’ll never know, but fifteen minutes later we arrived at the marketplace regardless.
It was a four-story souvenir shop, overflowing with everything you could think to buy: beautiful artwork, an array of knick knacks, jewelry, homeware, and more. We were the only customers there, so every time we walked into a new section of the store, we were greeted and watched by the staff. They all hurriedly explained the significance of everything we looked at… to Mitch.
Now let’s bring things down! Sorry
I want to talk about something difficult but I’m struggling to find the words. Arriving in India bumped my country count up to nearly thirty, a milestone I never imagined I would achieve, let alone this early in my life. Traveling as extensively as I have over the last couple of years has exposed me to new walks of life, new customs, new cultures, new everything. I have paid for new foods with new currencies and heard people speaking in more languages than I could count—some of which I recognized instantly, while others remain a mystery to this day. I feel so privileged and so grateful for all I have seen, and I continue to be humbled by how vastly different this wide, wide world is on all its different corners. It has opened my eyes and expanded my mind, which is one of the biggest blessings of all.
With that widened perspective, I have noticed a pretty consistent theme: people harbor stereotypes about places they have never been and warn me against going to those places based on their unsubstantiated assumptions. It hasn’t yet stopped me from going anywhere I wanted to go, and in fact, I have found their claims to be completely baseless and inaccurate time and time again. There are always going to be precautions that should be taken for safety, especially for women, no matter where on earth you are, but honestly, I have felt more unsafe in certain parts of Philadelphia than I have in some of the countries people have tried to talk me out of. This shift in my perspective has kept me consistently open-minded, resistant to any assumptions—except to assume I don’t really know anything until I experience it firsthand. India is the perfect example of this. I did a lot of research, compiled pages and pages of information and recommendations, and was still completely floored by the culture shock I felt as soon as we landed. It was incredible, and eye-opening, and necessary for growth.
But it’s not always that simple.
The thing is, I was warned about the gender roles and disparities in India, and I dismissed it in my head, waiting for India to naturally disprove this the same way everywhere else I have been has disproved people’s misinformed claims. But then… it didn’t. I could feel it, in the way some men would look at me from afar, in the way they wouldn’t look me in the eyes in conversation, in the way they deferred completely to Mitch for everything. These may sound like small examples, but the girls that get it, get it (and I fear we all get it, but I wish we didn’t). This isn’t something unique to India, either—this happens to me at home as well. I just wanted to address it and share my experiences because I think honesty is the best policy, and this is something women should know about and prepare for if they are planning a visit (and the thing is, I do recommend visiting. I just also recommend doing research beforehand, and being prepared).
In that store, no one acknowledged me. They all, across all four floors, spoke to and looked at Mitch exclusively. Until we passed the jewelry section, that is. Then, four men simultaneously sat up and tried to reel me in. It bothered me, the whole thing.
India is a beautiful country with incredible landmarks and areas to explore; kind-hearted, welcoming people; unique and delicious food unlike anywhere else I’ve been; and a rich culture that shocks all the senses. But it also has its shortcomings, like anywhere else in the world. I’m so glad I went, and I want to go back. There’s so much more I feel like I need to see and do. It would be inaccurate not to paint the whole picture, though. I think both things can be true at once, and I experienced both ends of the spectrum.
Then, before India had a chance to redeem itself to us over the next day and a half (which I’m confident it would have), well… then the Americano hit.